


Confabulation (Taehyung x Jimin)

by Rx_ject



Category: ASTRO (Band), BLACKPINK (Band), Day6 (Band), GOT7, Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, SHINee, Stray Kids (Band), The Rose (Band), 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Genre: Abuse, Angst, Anorexia, Anxiety, Anxiety Attacks, Anxiety Disorder, Bad Boy Park Jimin, Bottom Jeon Jungkook, Bottom Kim Taehyung | V, Cat Hybrid Park Jimin (BTS), Character Death, Cute Kim Taehyung | V, Dancer Jung Hoseok | J-Hope, Death, Depressing, Depression, Doctor Kim Seokjin | Jin, Drug Abuse, Established Kim Namjoon | RM/Kim Seokjin | Jin, Established Min Yoongi | Suga/Park Jimin, Fluff and Angst, Heavy Angst, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Jeon Jungkook & Jung Hoseok | J-Hope Are Best Friends, Jeon Jungkook & Jung Hoseok | J-Hope are Siblings, Jeon Jungkook & Kim Taehyung | V Are Best Friends, Jeon Jungkook & Park Jimin Are Best Friends, Jeon Jungkook Is Bad at Feelings, Jeon Jungkook is Whipped, Jeon Jungkook is a Little Shit, Jungkook x Jimin - Freeform, Kim Seokjin | Jin-centric, Kim Taehyung | V & Park Jimin Are Best Friends, Kim Taehyung | V Is a Little Shit, Kim Taehyung | V Is a Sweetheart, M/M, Minor Jeon Jungkook/Jung Hoseok | J-Hope, Minor Jeon Jungkook/Kim Taehyung | V, Minor Jeon Jungkook/Park Jimin, Minor Jung Hoseok | J-Hope/Kim Namjoon | RM, Minor Jung Hoseok | J-Hope/Park Jimin, Minor Jung Jinsol | Jinsoul/Kim Jungeun | Kim Lip, Minor Kim Namjoon | RM/Kim Seokjin | Jin, Minor Kim Namjoon | RM/Kim Taehyung | V, Minor Kim Namjoon | RM/Park Jimin, Minor Kim Taehyung | V/Park Jimin, Minor Min Yoongi | Suga/Park Jimin, Parents Kim Namjoon | RM & Kim Seokjin | Jin, References to Depression, Sad, Sad Ending, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Harm, Self-Hatred, Shy Jeon Jungkook, Social Anxiety, Sope, Suicide, Suicide Attempt, Therapy, Top Jeon Jungkook, Top Kim Taehyung | V, jikook - Freeform, jungkook x taehyung - Freeform, namjin - Freeform, taehyung x jimin, taekook, taemin - Freeform, vkook, vmin - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-19
Updated: 2019-04-19
Packaged: 2020-01-16 13:24:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 3,509
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18522427
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rx_ject/pseuds/Rx_ject
Summary: When taehyung first met jimin, he didn't know that the two of them would've grown as close as they did- nor did jimin. But, as things progress in their relationship, taehyung realizes just how many issues jimin has- self esteem, self hatred, depression, anorexia.determined to help him as best he can, taehyung sticks by his side throughout the relationship- through the happy, through the sad, through the arguments and even more. he helps him gain weight, he helps him to love himself- but sometimes, staying by someones side and telling them you love them isn't enoughyou can't save everyone(note: this story is meant to be somewhat disorientating. short chapters)





	1. I

 

 

 

 

_**"Open the fucking door!"** _

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

_Confabulation; an original_

_written/created by @rx_ject_

_published 20-04-19_

_do not plagiarize or use_

_as inspiration without permission_

_or credit provided_

 

 


	2. C

 

  
_"Jimin-ah. not every day is a good day, and its okay" he called out, his voice rumbling dangerously low through the cheap speakers connected to the brunettes phone as he combed his fingers through the locks of his black hair- small knots forcing him to wince slightly as he gazed at the younger through the screen "its just how life is"_

_"then what's the point?" he asked quietly, the small cracks in his voice from his earlier activities coming through to affect his tone as he propped up one of his arms and placed his cheekbone and temple against his palm- the skin slightly stretching and crinkling under the action as he watched the younger frown slightly in disappointment_

_"stop saying that jimin" he said rather matter of factly- his eyebrows slightly twitching upwards as he nodded and glanced off to the side to look at something the camera couldn't for a moment "it won't help"_

_sighing, jimin lowered his head onto one of the many white pillowcases decorating his empty bed and let out a frustrated grunt in response to taehyung before lifting his head again and looking at the other who waited patiently for him to say something. "I have nothing to say"_

_clicking his tongue slightly, taehyung lent back against the sewed on cushion attached to the recliner- adjusting the position of the camera ever so slightly as he tilted his head to the side and let his fringe hang over the upper portion of his eyelids "why not?"_

_"I just feel lost"_


	3. A

 

  
_with the hypnotizing trace of his younger fingers trailing along the curve of his back, he continued to muffle his warm and content breaths against his tan neck riddled with the marks he had left._

_"Jimin-ah" he called out, his voice laced with the heavy of sleep as he tilted his head down in an attempt to look at the smaller boy curled up vulnerably in the comfort of his arms "you're covered in goosebumps. are you cold?" he asked curiously, the flesh of his thin lips grazing against jimin's upper earlobe as he shook his head and tilted back slightly to look at the youngers mess of black hair_

_"no, I'm fine tae"_

_frowning slightly, he felt a hand retract from his back and slide along his rib-cage and towards the curve of his neck- momentarily massaging at the tender flesh before a thumb found its way towards his relatively chubby cheek "you look so much healthier now" he murmured quietly, a faint yet distinct curve of his lips indicating he was smiling as he gazed helplessly into his own brown orbs "I'm so proud of you"_

_"it's because of you, supporting me.." he chuckled softly, his hand lifting from the comfort of the surrounding white blankets to cradle the significantly larger hand of taehyungs as he spoke "because you're loving me... I'm able to get better because of you Tae, thank you"_

_"only you can make yourself better jimin-ah, don't take credit away from your own bravery"_


	4. N

 

_"Jimin-ah.." taehyung whispered, his back pressed firmly against the edge of their shared white mattress as he sat on the ground and watched the smaller boy stay huddled in the corner of the doorway directly in front of him- the sharp points of his nails nervously scratching at his wrists and forearms as he hid his face from view and continued to sob "please.. don't leave.."_

_"I-I'm sorry tae.. I don't want you to see me like this.." he choked out, the heart of his cries forcing his shoulders to slump and jolt as his struggled gasps for airs slipped uncontrollably past his lips "this is why... this is why I shouldn't be here" his hands tightened and nails dug deeper, the red marks decorating his arms becoming even more irritated as mini speckles of blood started to appear "this is why I shouldn't be with you. I'm only a burden tae"_

_"don't ever call yourself a fucking burden!" he yelled, his fist slamming down on the carpeted floor beneath their bodies which forced jimin to almost yell out at in surprise- his head raising and tear-swollen eyes helplessly peering at taehyung as he furrowed his brows, an expression of fury etched across his usual gentle features "you're not a fucking burden, you're not a fucking mistake. just because you have flaws, doesn't make you one! it makes you human"_

_avoiding eye-contact, it seemed jimin paused in his episode as he turned his head towards the wall in front of him- his knees lifting further to press against his chest "do you want to be a machine jimin? do you want to be someone who can't feel anything, someone who can't love..? taking away your flaws would be taking away your humanity.. I love you, I love your flaws. I just wish you could too"_

_"if I couldn't feel anything, if I couldn't love. maybe I'd be able to feel something else.." he whispered quietly, his head lowering to hide his features as taehyung bit his lip in an attempt to force the tears that pried at his eyes away from being seen_

_"Maybe I'd feel happiness.."_


	5. T

 

_taehyung tilted his head and smiled, watching the smaller boy rugged up in the warmth of his grey fluffy blanket while uncontrollably smiling and practically choking on his laughter was nothing short of absolutely beautiful to the younger. the curve of his lips, the crinkle of his eyes, the heart of his chuckle and the high pitched squeaks that slipped out whenever he curled forwards and laughed out_

_Taehyung found everything about jimin beautiful. the things jimin hated, the things others frowned at, the things others told him needed to improve... taehyung thought every little thing, every minuscule piece, every inch, every crevice. He thought it all was beautiful, was heavenly, was perfection._

_but the most beautiful thing taehyung thought about jimin was his smile. that smile accompanied by laughter that he loses himself in, where- even if just for a moment- he forgets about his surroundings and everything is laced in the unfamiliarity of jamais vu, where he forgets his problems and has not a care in the world_

_that happy jimin. that was the jimin taehyung loved the most_

_"jimin-ah, your going to get wrinkles if you laugh that hard" taehyung teased, lifting a hand to lightly poke and proud at the puffiness of the other's cheeks as the wiped away a stray tear from happiness- that familiar lingering worn out smile now directed at him as he stuck out his bottom lip in a cute pout_

_"don't be mean to your hyung" he grumbled, a curled baby hand punching lightly at taehyungs forearm which made him laugh as the smaller boy shuffled closer and wrapped himself tighter in the blankets before tilting his body against the youngers chest- the small curls of his bleach blonde hair messily sprawling across the contrasting black shirt he wore "your heart sounds fast"_

_biting his lip, he raised a hand and began combing through his hair- playfully twirling and platting the strands before ruffling them up again and soothingly smoothing them down in a petting motion. "it's because of you, that smile of yours always sends my heart racing" he honestly admitted- chuckling halfway through it which ruined some of the genuine sound as jimin lifted his head and raised his brows, his lips pursing and smiling at him_

_"Your such a weirdo" he smiled, positioning his chin between the crook of his chest as a hand lifted to pry his own hand from his hair- the five of both of their fingers intertwining with one another as he tilted his head back down and continued to listen. "your heart is calmer now, it sounds pretty"_

_"my heart only beats for you jimin-ah"_


	6. S

 

 

_clenching his teeth, taehyung stared at the screen in front of him- most importantly, at the words that decorated the search history of the said screen._

_it wasn't his laptop, no. it wasn't his so he knew he couldn't have done it, he wouldn't have done it anyway- nor would have anyone else since it was privately owned. owned only by jimin himself, the jimin who he hadn't seen for the entirety of the day_

_'how do I kill myself'_

_'whats the most painless way to die?'_

_'how do I know if I have depression'_

_'how to make your death look like an accident'_

_throwing the laptop to the side he stood up from his seat at the table, the wooden chair that he had previously sat on skidding along the ground to a violent halt as the metal of the computer clashed against the ground and cracked under the force_

_his phone, where was his phone. where was jimin? jimin._

_running from his spot at the table, he twisted around and rushed into the kitchen- the familiar slick black of his own phones screen waiting patiently and dancing underneath the flickering lights overhead as he yanked the white charger from the plug, hastily opening the device before clicking down at the bubbly green icon on the bottom right_

_call him, talk to him. where is he?_

_scrolling through his contact list, he had to rewind several times after rushing past the boy's name in a panic before managing to click on the profile and hit the familiar green call button that twitched almost tauntingly in the center of the screen. the deafening static of the dial tone beginning to ring through his ears as he raised it towards the side of his cheek_

_ring- ring- ring- ri-_

_"please don't do anything stupid"_


	7. A

 

  
_with the soft touch of his smooth hands against his, he nervously peeked at his elder as he began contently wrapping his hand in the warped woolen fabric- the soft neon speckles of red rising to the surface as the cotton beneath became soaked with the wound jimin had tended to with the utmost of care_

_"You're an idiot sometimes" he smiled, eyes glancing towards taehyung as he let out a nervous chuckle and retracted his hand. lightly curling and stretching his fingers around the restricting fabric to get a feel before dropping his hand in his lap and pouting_

_"well, I didn't mean to. yeontan tripped me over- I'm just glad that he didn't step on it" he murmured under his breath, tilting his head to send a worried glance towards the curled up fluff-ball that settled comfortably on the couch- gnawing at the end of one of his many dolls "why was there even a razor on the ground, it must've fallen out" he sighed, lowering his head as he heard the familiar shift of his elder moving closer towards him_

_"does it still hurt?" the melodic tune of jimins voice asked out softly, his voice significantly closer than previously as he raised his gaze to see that he had shifted closer- his chair now positioned directly between taehyungs knees as he raised a hand to begin gingerly tracing soothing circles along the curve of his expose wrist and lower hand_

_nodding slightly, he smiled and raised his injured hand- earning a curious look from the elder as he flashed an innocent and childish box smile towards him. "will you kiss it better hyung? since you love me"_


	8. V

 

 

_"please don't do anything stupid"_

_those words pouring bluntly from the speakers were enough to twist his gut and force a sickening lump to form at the base of his throat as he clenched his eyes shut and bit his lip, pausing for several moments to think through his words and keep his voice steady as taehyung waited- the panic even worse than he had expected_

_"tae what are you talking about.." he managed to whisper into the speakers, the familiar sound of running water pouring within the ceramic bathtub beside him echoing throughout the room as he spoke, "are you okay?"_

_"don't bullshit me jimin!" he yelled through the speakers, the sound of his heavy rushed footsteps traveling through the device as the sounds of doors opening and closing muffled below his voice "where are you right now, where are you!"_

_"I'm at my apartment.." he replied honestly, his body sluggishly leaning over to turn off the frozen over metal tap that had been gushing water to the point it began spilling over the curved edges. "I'm just having a bath, I don't understand why your acting like this way"_

_"I saw your computer, why are you trying to lie to me" he yelled before the rattle of keys and now shoes rushed across what sounded like the corridor and towards the front door which he practically kicked open. "wait outside for me, I'm going to bring you back home"_

_"Tae.." he whispered quietly, a choked sob itching at his throat as he raised a hand to cup his forehead as the familiar salty liquid coated his lashes "don't come. please" he begged, earning what sounded like a pause from taehyung as he listened silently into the phone_

_"I want you to remember my smile, the last time you saw me. not the me that I'll become by the time you arrive"_

 


	9. E

 

_falling back on the matted surface of the carpeted floor, taehyung leaned over and grasped jimins sides- lightly pinching and tickling at the curve of his thin waist as he squirmed and laughed out uncontrollably at his touch, struggled begs for him to stop laced with laughter as he tilted his head back and kicked his legs outwards_

_"Give it back and ill stop jimin-ah!" taehyung laughed out back, crawling on top of him and sitting on his hips so he couldn't squirm out of his grasp as his fingers began attacking the elders armpits- tickling and curling under the warm flesh which earned a squeal followed by even more guttural sounds of laughter_

_"Okay! o-okay! tae ok!!" he screamed out, refusing to listen for several moments before retracting his hands and placing them on the other's chest as he panted- desperately gasping for breath as he closed his eyes and winced, his smile curving slightly down and becoming more relaxed as jimin leaned up and shooed taehyung off of him_

_reaching into his back pocket where he had hidden taehyungs phone, he reluctantly pulled it out and dangled it in front of him as taehyung placed his palm out- motioning for him to put it in his hand which he did. "You never play fair, this is why yeontan loves me more" jimin whined, flashing a smile as taehyung pouted in response_

_"yeontan loves me, and so do you" he grumbled- leaning forwards and throwing his arms around the elder which forced the two of them to lay back down on the carpet with a small thud and grumble from jimin- who still happily hugged him back and played with his hair as taehyung rested his head on his chest_

_"Mhm mhm, you're right. I do love you" he sang out, curling locks of his hair between his fingers as he began platting them. "and you love me too, don't you"_

_"I do, I love you"_

 


	10. H

 

 

_with the deafening tones of splashing water and the squeaks of adjusting flesh within the ceramic bowl, jimin leaned his head against the curve of the bathtub- the plaster digging deep into the back of his skull as the white tank top he had worn danced within the ripples that formed in the water_

_after he had said those words, those agonizing words... he hung up, he cut him off and went straight into the tub- locking the front door and bathroom door before typing a short and simple message he knew would haunt taehyung_

_'im sorry'_

_he didn't deserve to be haunted. he didn't deserve jimin to hurt him like this, he had tried to leave- tried to leave so many times, so many times so that he wouldn't hurt taehyung when he did this. but he couldn't... he was selfish... taehyung would ask him to stay, and he'd stay- he'd stay and hurt taehyung more and more._

_that's why he needed to block him out this time- do it abruptly so he wouldn't know, so he couldn't stop him and make him become selfish. he needed to do it without his knowledge yet somehow, taehyung still found out- still found out and would soon be arriving at his front door and breaking it down_

_jimin didn't want him to see him like that, cold. lifeless. worthless. but, if he didn't do it now- he never would_

_so leaning over the curve of the bath- reached towards the small chair that had been placed neatly beside the tub that he had been sitting in while watching it fill and grabbed the small folded up tissue he had smuggled from taehyungs house the day before._

_the liquids on his hands melted the tissue as he cradled it carefully between his fingers- bringing it closer to his chest as he slid down further into the bath and let the splashing water slip along the edges as he retrieved the small- reflective object from the confines of the white material_

_"I'm sorry tae"_

 


	11. I

 

 

_"Waah! you gained two kilos!" taehyung clapped happily, his smile spread from ear to ear as he watched jimin step off of the scales "I'm so happy your eating properly" he chuckled as he walked around the scale and towards jimin- his arms snaking around his waist as he leaned down to rest his chin comfortably in the curve of his collar bone "I'm happy your treating yourself right" he hummed quieter, a brief kiss pecking at the back of jimins earlobe_

_"I'm not a baby, you don't have to act like that whenever I gain weight" jimin scoffed slightly, but it was obvious he enjoyed being praised- especially by taehyung as he cupped the small curve of his healthy belly and traced circles around the lower half of his torso, watching as jimin struggled to muffle back a giggle at the ticklish sensation_

_"I'm not pregnant, don't do that!" jimin scolded teasingly before slapping at his hand and stepping away, making taehyung whine in response briefly as he let his hands retreat back to his sides limply "the only thing I'm pregnant with is the kimchi you made me earlier"_

_"our little food baby" taehyung cooed and proceeded to waddle up behind jimin as he lent in the mirror and looked at his reflection, fixing his bleached locks as tae placed his hands on his shoulder blades and soothingly massaged the skin. "what will we call it! maybe jimin junior?"_

_"you're an idiot" jimin giggled, reaching up to place a hand on top of taehyungs briefly before leaning over and turning on the sink- the running water catching taehyungs attention as he contently waited for him to finish washing his face, the cuffed and rolled up sleeves of jimins white sweatshirt revealing the underlying pale lines that decorated his wrist_

_he was changing, he was happier. he wouldn't hurt himself anymore- that's what taehyung thought as a smile spread from ear to ear_


	12. M

 

  
_knocking on the door roughly, he felt sharp and uncared for wood splinter underneath his touch._

_"Jimin-ah! open the door!" he screamed through the frame, his forehead resting against the cold surface as he waited for a response- for anything that would indicate he was conscious inside of that stupid room, yet... he received nothing..._

_he wasn't entirely irrational with his approach though, he took the opportunity while driving here to call an ambulance- tell them what was happening and his suspicions, and he half expected them to already be here. knocking down the door and revealing jimin, laying in the bathtub just sleeping- nothing wrong with him. but, as time went on and the more times he tried to knock on the door to gain a response, the more he started to doubt that jimin had just simply laid down and decided to sleep all of the stress off_

_banging his fists on the frame for the sixth time, he let the tender flesh of his palm travel down towards the door- inching closer and closer towards the doorknob that shook at the smallest of movements from his banging loosening the hinges, before finally wrapping his fingers around the cold and electric object and twisting it open_

_at first, he only opened it enough for a sliver of the overhead blue lamps to show through in a thin line- but, as his eyes traveled down to the ground, he continued to open it._

_inch_   
_by_   
_inch_

_until red pooled his vision, and he was left with tear-stained cheeks and a memory he'd never forget_


	13. I can't save him

  

 

** _Confabulation_ **

_**Confabulation**  is a memory error  **defined**  as the production of fabricated, distorted, or misinterpreted memories about oneself or the world, without the conscious intention to deceive._

 

 


End file.
